I really have two stories; one of deep regret and one that is a miracle. I met my future husband in 1978 and uprooted myself from dairy farm country to metro-NYC, taking along my 2 and 1/2-year-old son from a previous marriage at the tender age of 21. Over the next few months the romantic guy I knew showed the uglier side of himself with verbal abuse. I underwent lumpectomy surgery for a benign cyst on my right breast. Back then you had to sign a release allowing them to remove your breast if they needed to! I was so scared. Just a few weeks after the surgery, I missed a period. I was scared because I knew my husband didn’t want anymore kids. A friend took me to her doctor who gave me a shot to bring on my period. Nothing happened, so I had to tell him I was pregnant. Well, he hit the roof!! Accused me of getting pregnant on purpose, etc. He told me I had two choices–get an abortion or get out!!! I had nowhere to go (or so I thought). I had given up everything back home to move to the city. My apartment, job, furniture, etc. Frightened and ashamed…I had that abortion in Oct/Nov. of 1979. My child would be 33 years old this year. I mourn this child!
I stuck it out with my husband for many more years. I really wanted to have a daughter and argued with my husband for a year or more after the abortion…then gave up as he would not be moved. Then he had a change of heart and told me we could get pregnant in the winter of 1981. I didn’t waste any time and was expecting within weeks! Our son was born the following summer. Six weeks after this baby I had a total tubal ligation (tied, cut, cauterized and tubes removed) I had given up on the idea of having a daughter. Well, 18 months later, I was pregnant! The doctors were amazed and baffled. My husband demanded that I abort AND I SAID “LIKE HELL!! GET YOURSELF A GOOD LAWYER!!” He backed down, but was very cruel and unsupportive for the first few months. I got through it and had my miracle baby girl in the spring of 1985. God is good!!! She is married and has given me the blessing of two beautiful grandchildren that I am blessed to care for at my home office every week day! (I left my abusive husband when she was 5 years old and took the kids and moved far away! With just the promise of a place to live and $300 and a beat up old station wagon!) I know God has forgiven me for that abortion and I have learned to forgive myself, but it still hurts! I thank God that he blessed me with my girl and that I had the strength to stand up and SAY NO!
I hope my story has helped in some way!