When I was 17 I had a had sex with a stranger. I was obviously pregnant, to my mom at least. I didn’t know. On my 18th birthday my mom made me take a pregnancy test. When It came back positive, I showed her and we both just sat there. She finally said “you have to make a choice” at 5 months pregnant abortion was not an option. Not that, that would have been an option for me, as someone who firmly believes in life. I hadn’t heard from the father. I didn’t know his name or have a way to contact him. I decided I was capable, no matter how difficult it would end up being, of caring for a child. I went in for my first ultra sound at 22 weeks. Before I went in, I looked at my mom and said “its a boy”. I was right. My Little angel was born 19 weeks later. After my son was born, I started looking for his father. I went on the website I first found him on. it took me three months to find him. I sent him a picture and told him he was a father. I told him you can go get a paternity test and we’ll go from there or you can not respond to this and you wont hear from me again. A month later he asked me where he could get the test done. After a year of him stalling and making excuses he finally was tested and paternity was proven. I asked him to meet with me and talk about what he wants. When we met he told me that he didn’t want to be a father right now, that I should have gotten an abortion. I thanked him for meeting with me and we went our separate ways. 3 months later I received a text from him asking if he was allowed to change his mind and meet his son. I was so tempted to say no. I knew if he met his son that he would fall in love with him. I would have to share my world. I would have to trust a stranger. As a woman I would have refused him but I am a mother first and foremost. My son deserves a father. He became involved and he became a father to our son. We went on our first date, 6 months ago. Our son is now 3 years old. I never expected that the man I had a one night stand with would get me pregnant. I never expected that he would choose to be involved. I never expected him to be a great father. Life threw me on this difficult path. I have struggled and often wanted to give up. I’ve come to believe that if you do your best, things turn out all right. I don’t know how things will end up between me and my sons father but I’ve decided not to expect anything.
My battle with hyperemesis gravidarum:
As I sit here, watching my 3 year old son running around with toys all over the floor in my house. Looking over, I can see pure joy in his eyes. I feel though as it is time to write his survival story.
This is not exactly a birth story but the story of the 9 months prior. With my 3 year old son, Caden, my pregnancy was not the glowing, happy pregnancy every woman wishes for.
I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, and it was severe.
HG, is a severe nausea and vomiting during pregnancy which can lead to severe complications with the mother and baby. Eating crackers and sipping Sprite or Gatorade was not a solution. It is a terrible disease that makes a pregnant woman affected with it in a state that can be life threatening.
In January 2012, I was feeling pain in my stomach. I went to the doctor, they told me I tested positive for pregnancy. The news came as an unexpected shock. However, at approximately 6 weeks I started getting morning sickness. It was slow at first along with some pretty intense nausea throughout the day.
A couple weeks later, it all changed. I was barely able to get out of bed, I was vomiting 20-40 times a day. I couldn’t keep down any food or liquid, so it was mostly dry heaving. I would have to be taken to the hospital 2-3 times a week for ivs to get hydrated. I began to lose a lot of weight quickly.
I went for my monthly check-up with my OB, she said I was not in good health. My life was at risk. I was 25-30 pounds down from my normal weight. I was given several anti-nausea medications but none of them worked, nothing.
My depression started, I was so sad, I wanted this pregnancy and I didn’t deserve this. I made the decision to continue the pregnancy although it was risky. This continued a little over 6 months before I started to feel human again.
My doctor made it possible by requesting home care. A nurse came over to set up ivs and I had a pump in my stomach that monitored the amount of zofran (to help control nausea).
I disliked changing needles to a different place every other day. I actually overcame my fear of needles but not entirely, ha.
In May, I discovered I was having a boy. It was a dream come true. In the last 3 months of my pregnancy I was finally able to get out of bed, out of the house more and be able to go baby shopping which is my absolute favorite thing to do.
August 27, 2012 my beautiful healthy baby boy came into the world. He came 3 weeks earlier than his due date, at 5 pounds.
Labor was surprisingly easy. He came out in just 2 pushes. It was perfect from his first breath and and still is perfect to this day.
What got me through this was the support from my friends/family. My family has been a huge help throughout this process, for that I am entirely grateful.
My son is a miracle, he is the greatest gift I have been blessed with. A huge part of who I am today. Most of all, it has taught me the depths of my own strength.
I was like most teenage girls who had a boyfriend in high school, they think they are going to get married and everything will be great. But that wasn’t how my life is. I thought I had it all figured out, I had my life pictured how I wanted it. My life I pictured crumbled right before my eyes when I found I was pregnant. I had just graduated high school and still living with my parents when I found out. I told my boyfriend and he told me to take care of it. After that I told him that was the end of the relationship.
Growing up LDS (mormon) I knew abortion was not an option. My options were keep the baby and raise the baby as a single mom or give the baby up for adoption. I was in the singles branch at the time, its where anyone who is 18-30 and unmarried goes to church, so I went to the bishop and asked him what I should do and how I should tell my parents. He told me I should give the baby up for adoption if I wasn’t going to marry the dad. I thought about giving the baby up, I even looked at adoption profiles. The more I thought about it the more I couldn’t imagine giving part of me to some stranger raising my baby.
By this time I am about 2 months pregnant and still haven’t told my parents. I knew I couldn’t hide it much longer and I had to tell them soon. I was so scared that they were going to kick me out. I had no job, no car, and no where to go if they kicked me out. I sat both my parents down and told them I had something to tell them and I didn’t know how they would take it then I said, “I am pregnant!” That’s when the tears started because I was preparing for the worst. Then my mom said, “You are not aborting the baby, and we will support you if you chose to keep the baby or put it up for adoption.” I was in shock! Did I hear her right? They are going to support me? I couldn’t believe what she said to me. Then my mind started thinking what are people at church going to say to my parents? I have made them look like bad parents. But I am thankful they are supporting me and letting me live with them.
I decided on keeping my baby and I went through my whole pregnancy without my baby’s father and it is the best decision I have ever made! I am now blessed to be the mom of a gorgeous baby girl who has become my entire world. She has made me rethink a lot of my decision and has pushed me to make a better career for her and myself.
I know being a single mom can seem like a scary thought. Just know that there are many single moms out there who may be going through the same thing. Confide in them share your story with them and reach out to be a friend to them. As a single mom I can tell you I am struggling to find friends, but I have my beautiful daughter who I get to have as a best friend. Keep your head up and know that you are going to be the best mom to your child.
I am 23 years old now and I’m 16 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend (which is now my ex) and I were living in together for 7 months which I got pregnant but to sum it up our relationship last for 1 year and 1 month. We’re planning to get married 4 years from now because we still need to help his younger brother to finish his study first. I also told him if that’s the case then I don’t also want a baby at this moment. Marriage first before a baby. Which we agreed. But he always told me that he wants a child and I can really see happiness when he will saw a baby, that’s why I thought he will stand for us if that time will come.
And then here it goes I’m pregnant for 2 months when we both now it. I cried. How about my career? I want to take my board exam first (I’m a nursing graduate). How about my life? These were the questions that runs into my mind during that time. But surprisingly my boyfriend was happy and excited after we have seen 2 lines on that PT. So we did go to OB for a check up and we found out I was 2 months pregnant.
Things first between us were okay. We agreed that we will be staying together no matter what for our baby. So we decided to tell everything to his family. And then we were shocked his father the soon to be grandfather of our child tells us that I should go on abortion. They don’t want the child. They already did give precautions to my boyfriend. My boyfriend has a lot of duty as the eldest on the family. The house it’s not yet finished. If my boyfriend will decide to marry me how stupid son he is. This is according to his father which changes everything. My boyfriend did change his decision. He will choose his family rather us. I did kneel to him beg that please we need him he didn’t.
Then one time his family decided to meet my family to talk about everything. My family do want marriage. My family is conservative and not open minded on having a child without marriage. Aside from that it’s painful for them since I’m the youngest on our 6 siblings. But instead his family did say NO. They want’s us to live together without marriage my family doesn’t want that and then my boyfriend was there standing doing nothing so we did break up for I think 3 days. I decided to resigned on my job because I’m working on night shift and I’m afraid that it will affects my babies development. After that 3 days my boyfriend contacted me and ask for another chance which I did gave to him. And I went home staying with my family since my boyfriend cannot afford to raise us due to his low wage. After a week things turns difficult again. My boyfriend broke up with me. So I did decide to go back to him to choose him over my family. We need him. My baby needs a father.
So I went back and the truth really reveals everything. When I was their he’s not the gut that I used to knew before. Even her mother was their to get rid of me out of his life. I can still remember the wors that he utters in front of me and on his mother. “I TOLD HER TO GO AWAY. I DON’T LOVE HER ANYMORE. WE’RE OVER. I DON’T WANT ANY RESPONSIBILITY. ” Those word stabbed my heart like a dagger. I did comeback for the child. This fight is for my child but how can I win this if the father of my child doesn’t wants us anymore. It’s so painful. Very painful.
At this moment I’m still fighting for my depression. I wan’t to focus on my baby. I wan’t to forget everything about him. My baby needs me more than anything else in this world so I need to be strong. My family is always their for me. They do still accepts me and continue to show there support and love to me. And also my friends were always their when I needed them. I know everything happens for a reason. God want’s us to allow him to take over everything in our life. We just need to trust Him and don’t lean on our own understanding. This baby is a blessing and it’s my responsibility to give the best for this child because i am the MOTHER. I’m hoping for a normal baby, a normal delivery on September and a cure on my wounded heart in God’s will…🙂
I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend and I have been together almost 3 years, he’s my best friend. I found out at 4 weeks that I was pregnant & also got my first ticket that day. I got told that before I reached 12 weeks I was going too loose him. My pregnancy was not a good one at all. I had morning sickness until the day I gave birth, I had been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. I got dehydrated every week and was in & out of the hospital. My boyfriend had been right by my side every hospital trip. Since I was so sick I was going to be induced at 39 weeks, but the day before I was going to be induced I went into labor. But I went to the hospital by myself thinking I was just dehydrated again, then it turned into active labor, I called my boyfriend who had been out the night before due to being his last Saturday before becoming a dad, I couldn’t get ahold of him, so I called his mom & they finally got ahold of him & rushed on their way! I got my epdrial At 5 because I had so much back labor. I dilated pretty quickly, due to being out all night my boyfriend went to McDonald because he Hadn’t eaten, when he left I was at a 7 within 15 minutes I was at a 9. So emergency call to my boyfriend to get his butt back luckily we live in a small town. Finally our baby boy T. was here at 12:37 pm, weigh 6lbs 13oz, 21″ long. 💕
I had big plans for my life. I had just graduated from university, and was planning to go Officer Candidate School for the US Marine Corps. I didn’t think I would ever really have time to get married or have kids because I was intending on making the military my career. With only months to go before I anticipated leaving, I physically and mentally was preparing myself for the commitment and challenge that the Marine Corps would offer, and thought of little else.
All that changed when I took a pregnancy test that came out positive. My whole world flipped upside down in that moment. What was I going to say to my parents, family, friends, my recruiters who faithfully were helping me prepare, and the father of the baby? I was at work, and trying to keep calm and composed, but really didn’t know how to deal with what was absolutely life changing. It didn’t occur to me to have an abortion, I knew that it was my responsibility to deal with the result of my actions, although my attitude was a little sour because my dreams were destroyed.
Time went by and the relationship between myself and my unborn baby’s dad dissolved, which was painful and frustrating at first. I stayed living at home with my parents so that I could save as much money as possible to prepare for the baby which presented its own challenges.
I had the first ultrasound around 8 weeks, and I saw that tiny, but precious life. I saw the little budding arms and her body was just starting to take shape. I heard her heartbeat, and fell in love. As I got further and further along, and began to feel the baby (a girl!) moving inside, I became so excited to meet this little angel!
As I came to have a relationship with Jesus as a Christian later, I discovered that I had been chosen to be her mom. That while it was not my plan, it had always been God’s plan. My daughter is now 1-year-old, and I couldn’t even imagine life without her. There are still challenges, finances are tough, and days (and nights) are long sometimes. But everyday, I am so thankful that life was the only option for me and that I am blessed to know and be a mother to my sweet girl.
I found out I was pregnant four weeks after a company Christmas party in which I became very intoxicated and slept with a coworker. He had lied to me and told me that he and his girlfriend had broken up. When I told him I was pregnant, he questioned paternity and his girlfriend wanted me to abort. I’m a devout Catholic, though I hadn’t been to church in some time, and knew that the baby inside me was a life. I am extremely blessed to say that I now have an almost 4-year-old daughter who is my world. Her father chose not to see her and I chose not to pursue child support. I have a wonderful job where I have worked for six years. My daughter has everything she needs and wants. I recently purchased a home in the town where I grew up and where my family lives.
I suffered severe postpartum depression which at one time made me want to take both my daughter’s and my life. I also suffered a hemorrhage after my c-section that caused me to lose 75% of my blood and has likely left me unable to carry any more children. If not for my family and a great team of doctors, my daughter and I would likely be dead.
I am blessed with a wonderful support system who has stood by me. The grace of God saved me and now we attend Mass weekly and love going to additional church activities. My church family has accepted me, a single mom, faults and all.
I am not courageous. My support system is courageous. They stood by me, took care of my baby when I was too ill after birth and again when I suffered debilitating depression and didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone hold my child. I thank God for them and credit them for being instruments of God’s grace.
While I like to publish first hand accounts, this one had to be told!
This is not my own story, but a story about a friend of mine. I will give it the title “Shannon: Heroic Defender of Life”
I met Shannon about 12 or 13 years ago when we were both involved in pro-life ministry in her hometown in Illinois. I was in my early 30’s with no kids yet, and Shannon was a young mother in her early 20’s. We met on the sidewalk outside of the local abortion clinic where we were part of a group trying to reach out to the young women going into the clinic. Over the course of the 6 months that I was in that town, I heard many different pieces of her tale.
Shannon had become pregnant for the first time at age 13 when she was raped by her “boyfriend”, an older man who was 18 at the time. Two years later, at age 15, she became pregnant again by another rape committed by this same man. She made it very clear that this was not in any way a “date rape” situation, but was in fact a forcible rape.
Shannon had every excuse in the world to abort these two pregnancies. She was still reeling from the trauma of having been raped. She was stuck in an abusive relationship. And besides all that, she was too gosh-darned young to become a mother.
Yet she did not abort–she chose life for her 2 children. Matthew, his first-born, was 7 years old when I knew Shannon, and her daughter, “Sissy” was 5 years old. (I can’t remember “Sissy’s” given name, only her nickname.) Matthew and Sissy were the joy and delight of Shannon’s life. She loved those 2 kids with all her heart. She brought them along with her to do pro-life ministry outside of the local abortion clinic during the summer months when school was out of session, and I remember that they were two of the sweetest children in the world.
One of our fellow pro-lifers complimented Shannon on what a fine job she was doing of bringing up Matthew and Sissy. And she did it all in the midst of difficult circumstances. She was a single mother, living in a crummy neighborhood (just down the street from the abortion clinic) and working a part-time job. She shared a place with her room-mate Tracy, a punk-rocker with green spiked hair who also was part of our pro-life team.
Back in those days, I didn’t even realize what an incredible thing Shannon was doing by successfully bringing up kids in such difficult circumstances. Now that I have children of my own, I am amazed at Shannon. I struggle to be a good Mom to my kids even with the full support of the man who is an incredible husband and great father to our kids. And yet Shannon made it look easy to be a mother.
Shannon is my hero for being a defender of life. It would have been enough for her to simply bring those kids into the world despite what must have been immense pressure to abort. I remember one time when Shannon talked about the time when an ultrasound technician had told her that her daughter would be deformed in an apparent attempt to steer her to abortion. Then there was the time when we were standing on the sidewalk doing our pro-life ministry and Shannon told us that she had just seen the father of her two children taking a young woman into the abortion clinic. I imagine he must’ve tried to convince Shannon to do the same back in her day. So in my book, Shannon deserves a medal just for mothering her own two children.
Yet Shannon did so much more than that. Shannon chose to devote her time and energy to try to reach out and help other young women who were pregnant and in difficult situations such as hers. She was on the sidewalk outside that clinic twice a week, on each of the mornings the place performed abortions. She was there to try to give encouragement and help for other young women to bring their children into this world.
And she took her stand for life right there in the midst of a neighborhood in which she faced persecution for her stand for life. All of us in that pro-life group faced at least verbal abuse from the clinic’s landlord and workers as well as from the creepy neighbors who lived nearby. And some of the group faced physical abuse. Yet Shannon took her stand for life while living in that neighborhood, where she must have risked harassment daily for daring to stand against the local abortion clinic.
And so this is my tribute to Shannon for being a hero and a defender of life. May God bless her and her children. And may God use her story to help others know that mothering their own children can be done successfully, even in the midst of the most trying of circumstances.
I really have two stories; one of deep regret and one that is a miracle. I met my future husband in 1978 and uprooted myself from dairy farm country to metro-NYC, taking along my 2 and 1/2-year-old son from a previous marriage at the tender age of 21. Over the next few months the romantic guy I knew showed the uglier side of himself with verbal abuse. I underwent lumpectomy surgery for a benign cyst on my right breast. Back then you had to sign a release allowing them to remove your breast if they needed to! I was so scared. Just a few weeks after the surgery, I missed a period. I was scared because I knew my husband didn’t want anymore kids. A friend took me to her doctor who gave me a shot to bring on my period. Nothing happened, so I had to tell him I was pregnant. Well, he hit the roof!! Accused me of getting pregnant on purpose, etc. He told me I had two choices–get an abortion or get out!!! I had nowhere to go (or so I thought). I had given up everything back home to move to the city. My apartment, job, furniture, etc. Frightened and ashamed…I had that abortion in Oct/Nov. of 1979. My child would be 33 years old this year. I mourn this child!
I stuck it out with my husband for many more years. I really wanted to have a daughter and argued with my husband for a year or more after the abortion…then gave up as he would not be moved. Then he had a change of heart and told me we could get pregnant in the winter of 1981. I didn’t waste any time and was expecting within weeks! Our son was born the following summer. Six weeks after this baby I had a total tubal ligation (tied, cut, cauterized and tubes removed) I had given up on the idea of having a daughter. Well, 18 months later, I was pregnant! The doctors were amazed and baffled. My husband demanded that I abort AND I SAID “LIKE HELL!! GET YOURSELF A GOOD LAWYER!!” He backed down, but was very cruel and unsupportive for the first few months. I got through it and had my miracle baby girl in the spring of 1985. God is good!!! She is married and has given me the blessing of two beautiful grandchildren that I am blessed to care for at my home office every week day! (I left my abusive husband when she was 5 years old and took the kids and moved far away! With just the promise of a place to live and $300 and a beat up old station wagon!) I know God has forgiven me for that abortion and I have learned to forgive myself, but it still hurts! I thank God that he blessed me with my girl and that I had the strength to stand up and SAY NO!
I hope my story has helped in some way!
My story began when I was 18. My boyfriend and I got engaged. We had a plan to be married in 2 years, after he finished college. He had a part-time job, and I was a nanny and a student. Of our families, mine was a conservative family, Pro Life, and very adamant about abstinence. His family was not so conservative, and had a history of unplanned pregnancies. His grandparents had one at 16, and got married right away. His parents had one at 19 and they got married when their son was a year old. We were going to “break the pattern.” But, we didn’t. We got pregnant, I was 18, he was 19.
We knew the moment we found out that we were pregnant that no matter how hard our circumstances would be, this baby was precious, and we wanted her. I had a few relatives pull me aside to tell me that although they knew abortion wouldn’t be an option, they recommended I put her up for adoption, so I didn’t “ruin my life.” I couldn’t do it, because I knew it wasn’t my choice alone, and that my fiance would never forgive me. He wanted this baby as much as I did, if not more. But that didn’t keep it from being difficult. My parents made it clear they expected us not to “lapse” again until we were married. His parents could have cared less. But neither of them had the resources to help our newly formed little family. I got a job before I went to an OB, just to pay for COBRA, which was very expensive. I thought this job would provide me with health insurance. It did not. I spent every penny of my meagre income on insurance and medical bills. My husband’s money went to pay for his expenses as a student. We had nothing leftover for food, housing, and absolutely nothing for baby things. But our families loved us, and our new baby, before she even came.
Because no one had enough money to bear our financial burden alone, we ended up in an arrangement that was really hard. Half of the week, Sunday through Wednesday we would live at my parents. On Wednesday night we would pack up our clothing and move to his parents. We’d stay there Wednesday through Saturday. That was immeasurably hard. Rules at each house changed, and no one considered us adults, let alone parents. There were times we had to sit in our car, just to be alone and fight, or be alone as a family. Loving each other, and spending time with our daughter. We needed ways to escape, and have a space of our own. Thankfully, our family had a baby shower for us, that provided some things we needed desperately. Every gift card we got at our baby shower paid for her diapers in her first year. We used only what clothing others gave us. We had absolutely no money. After she was born, I struggled with trying to bond with her, my fiance as well, because everyone wanted to step in for us. We just wanted to be parents. It was a constant tug of war between wishing to be young and in love, and wanting to properly fulfill our responsibilities as parents. We finally were able to marry two weeks after she turned a year old. He graduated from college, and we got an apartment. We barely had enough to scrape by, but it was OURS. Nobody was paying our way, and we lived at the same home every day. That, in and of itself was a blessing. After a lot of hard work and careful planning we were able to buy our own home. We now have 4 children, and if it weren’t for our unconventional wedding album, and the discrepancy between my daughter’s birthday and our wedding anniversary, nobody would know we had an unplanned pregnancy that turned our entire world upside down, and left us in poverty for years. The one thing that I will never forget throughout the entire thing is that the richest thing we had was her smile, her little hugs, and that no matter how poor we were, or how hard things got, somehow, some way, we always made it. God always provided. It still affects us to this day (our daughter is now 7) both in good ways, and in difficult ways, but I would never go back and change a single thing. Putting her up for adoption, or worse, aborting her, would have been the biggest heartbreak of our lives. It was her existence that gave us a purpose, and the perseverance to keep on going.